pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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