I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That accounts for only three of the penises
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
