Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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