If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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