You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
