So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
someone owes me an orgasm
my being single is dangerous.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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