I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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