If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
