We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
