I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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