Don't make out with my wife yet
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize