She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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