i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
