Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
