So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
