Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
