she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
