Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
