how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
