i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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