Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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