Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
