The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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