she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
even my farts smell like vagina
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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