I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
