from now on my penis is your penis
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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