We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize