I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
