I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you traded sex for a burrito?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize