I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
