i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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