I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize