What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is the high leading the old right now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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