Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
