i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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