I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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