I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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