One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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