Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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