Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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