nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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