To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
