Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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