just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
