i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
