Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
