Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
