No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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