hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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