Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
