you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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