i was born a porn star she said
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
