Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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