i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
