It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
