porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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