if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
operation have a gay friend backfired
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
