well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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