Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
