Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
