i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
