....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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