the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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